So I have been considering writing a confession for a while now about my (very) limited experience with my mother and our sexual experience. Though it will take a while to write it all out, hopefully it won’t end up so long it will be unreadable!
A little back story, and my thoughts and views on what went on with me leading up to all of that. When I was young my parents split (like most anymore for a long time now), and I actually lived with my Dad. My mother would get us every other weekend like any typical visitation rights. Well when I was (too young to say on the web) she lived in this apartment and she had us for her month in the summer (or at least I think it was, might have been on a regular visitation), she was laying on the couch reading (dressed of course, we were never as open of a family as people here seem to be). I laid on the couch next to her and was pretending to read with her. In reality I had placed my hand on her thigh as I lay there, and I had moved it around as nonchalantly as someone of that age could, what I was attempting to do I managed to accomplish, I had moved my hand around enough so that the side of my hand was resting and touching her pussy through her pants. At that age it’s kind of hard to really do much than really feel the excitement of it. I don’t know if she ever had gotten at what I was doing, but now later in life I find it hard to believe that she didn’t get at least a little idea of what it was I was doing. No one at that age is what you could call conspicuous. I had done similar things on a few other occasions, but that one stands out as it was the first time I tried, and with such success. Sometime after the reading incident she found my (admittedly large porn collection for that age), she didn’t do much more than confront me and let me keep them. I would try and sneak peeks at her as well to try and see her naked and such as well, which is pretty typical behavior (though I never did get a very good look at her nude), pretty much through my life when I could up to when I left home (I had eventually moved in with her when she moved to another state).
When I was in my teens I would fantasize about her some while I masturbated, and had even tried to put myself in a situation where she would “catch” me doing so. To my knowledge she never did see, and if she did, seemed to just let it go without a word. I know she did read stories in these little publications (no I don’t know what they were called), but most of the stories were about incest. I don’t know which of the stories she liked reading out of those, but wish I did, and what she thought about when she was lol.
As time went on I ended up in a relationship, although I wouldn’t say those thoughts of her had ever gone away, they weren’t in so time consuming as they had been when I was younger. So for a long time I didn’t do much to further my seeing her naked thing. As my marriage went on it went south, and ended up getting separated. It kind of brought things back about my Mom. I obviously didn’t live at home, and was quite some distance away. At that time I got most of my sexual release from the internet and on cam. As time went on I began to fantasize more and more about her again.
One day I was particularly lonely horny and was surfing porn (I won’t mention how old I was, but I was beyond my 20’s by this time). I got on messenger and saw she was on, I was already stroking and decided to get brave and just ask her to view my cam. I didn’t say a word to her just sent her a request to view my cam and sat waiting for it to confirm she was viewing. When it finally said she was viewing I was so excited, I can’t remember being so excited in such a long time. It was amazing. I was a little too excited though, sadly, thinking she was watching was too much for me and I didn’t last very long, maybe five minutes. It was rather embarrassing really lol. When she never said anything through the whole thing I got self-conscience and closed it thinking she was mad. What I didn’t know was that she had accepted and went to move clothes around to the drier and get another load started in the washer. Epic fail, most epic of all fails as far as I’m concerned. I got pretty self-conscience over it, and had sent her a couple of confusing emails to her asking her what she had thought about it, apologizing if I had offended or made her mad. I finally got a chance to get back on messenger to talk to her about it, and found out what had happened and that she didn’t know what I was talking about. I almost bowed out of the situation entirely because I was having second thoughts about it. In the end I just told her I would just do it again. I sent her a cam request again and she stayed there to wait for my cam to come up with me stroking already, close up of my hard cock. I remember being so insanely nervous and scared. When it finally showed it had come up on her side I gave her a little bit to say something. When she didn’t say anything I asked her if she liked it. She never did say if she did or didn’t, but kept watching. She just asked me “why”. I told her because it would turn me on, and I thought it would be fun, I don’t remember if I had said anything else besides that honestly. We talked a little bit while I stroked on cam and she watched, she continued to watch right up until I came with cum running down the side of my cock and hand. I came so hard that time. We talked a little after I was finished, I don’t remember what was said specifically. We ended up camming somewhat regularly for a while, and she even started getting on cam so I could watch her while she played with her vibrator as well. It was so hot and fun, and even sent her quite a few pictures of myself for her to enjoy when I couldn’t be on cam with her when she was in the mood.
I ended up moving closer, not to the area, or close enough to go see her, but to a closer time zone anyway. As it turned out that wasn’t exactly for the best, as it threw off our schedules, and we didn’t ever get another chance to play together. There was so much more I wanted to show her though.
That has continued on to this day. I have mentioned it to her off and on since, and I am now seeing someone in another serious relationship. I opened up to her, and told her about all of this. She has been more than supportive, and has even said it would turn her on again if my Mom and I played together again. I did tell my Mom that I told her, and what she said, she said she would think about it, but hasn’t said anything about it since. I have sent her pics of me, and me and my girl having sex even. My girl and I have talked a lot about how fun and hot it would be to be more intimate with my Mom. Even so far as to being able to have sex for my Mom on cam while we watch her play with her vibe. Or even more fun if we had sex with her in the room watching us. My girl has said she would love to lick her pussy even. She is so amazing to not just be so supportive of this, but to want to be involved, even if I have tried to get her to talk to my Mom about it to no avail lol.
I miss how close it had made us seem while we were playing together, and were so open together. I’m not sure how much she thinks about it, but I do think about it quite a bit. I’m not even sure how much, if she looks at them, let alone kept those pics I sent to her. I like to think she still has them and looks at them. Along with the newer ones I had sent to her. I asked her for a pic not long ago, but I haven’t gotten one yet. I’m also not sure if she liked playing for me and watching me play, but I would think so considering we had so many times. At the same time I hope I hadn’t hurt her or made her feel uncomfortable. That’s pretty much it though, and hopefully this wasn’t too long.
