Boards - confessions - I’ve thought about cheating on my wife or becoming a sperm doner. I just don’t have the heart to

@confessions

25 Oct 2022 10:16AM

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I’ve thought about cheating on my wife or becoming a sperm doner. I just don’t have the heart to do it and breaks my heart too much because of how much I love her and she’s the light of my life.

But my needs aren’t being met and she’s broken several promises. So this isn’t about sex, it’s about starting a family.

She said after we got engaged, she would remove her birth control implant so we could start a family. She didn’t.

She said after we got married, she would remove her birth control implant so we could start a family. She didn’t.

She said after the big wedding celebration, she would remove her birth control implant so we could start a family. She didn’t.

She said that before the honeymoon and wedding night, she would remove her birth control implant so we could start a family. She didn’t.

She said after I got a new job, she would remove her birth control implant so we could start a family. She didn’t.

I’ve jumped though every possible hoop, we even have our own house and cars. Got plenty of living space and income, and we both are in good health. Good family and friend support too. So everything checks out and been happy together.

I’ve dreamed about being a father for so long, and it’s crushing me. What hurts the most is that the potential opportunity to conceive your first one on the wedding night and honeymoon is something I will never experience ever because of her.

Thinking about getting my wife pregnant, seeing her pregnant, and then having our family has been what I’ve wanted so much. We talked so much about having a family and starting a family for so long.

I don’t know what to do or what I’m going to do. Needed a place to vent this all out.

Either her birth control implant goes or I go. That’s how I feel right now. I want to have a family, and if she doesn’t…then as much as she is the right woman/one for me, she isn’t the woman/one I’m supposed to have a family with.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 10:18AM

just enjoy her and don't worry it will some day

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 12:16PM

What bothers and hurts me is how she has pretty much said “After X and I’ll do Y” each time. Each time has been a lie and a broken promise.

Makes me feel very strung along, like a horse following a carrot on a stick.

We have had anniversaries, and I have had birthdays. No surprise or surprise announcements.

She won’t give me any deadlines either. So it’s like she has no plans at the same time tells me that we will have a family together when I question or confront her about it.

The longer she keeps me waiting, the longer I don’t want to wait.

I just don’t know what to do. But I can’t keep going year after year after year with nothing happening.

Im her soulmate, lover, man, husband, etc. Why would she still keep a birth control implant in if I am her only partner and the one she wants to be with for the rest of her life?!.

Don’t have any pets either, so the house is just very empty and lonely. So we have each other, but nothing else.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 11:16AM

Sounds like u dont love her sounds like u just love the idea of her. Maybe u should be the one to have to push. A baby out and wreck your body see quickly ud want to remove a birth control

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chaplanxx

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25 Oct 2022 11:56AM

That's not necessarily true. some people want families. It's perfectly normal, sadly I've seen women leave their husbands because they want kids and the husband doesn't. It's only natural it happens the other way. plenty of men want to be fathers.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 12:13PM

Two questions and be honest: Did she absolutely, clearly, 100% understand how much you wanted a family before you got married? And more importantly, did she ever say she wanted kids too? Seems pretty obvious she doesn't want them, and unless she specifically said "yes sweetie pie, I want a big family as well", she could argue that while "knowing" you wanted them, she never said she wanted them too. But that's a bunch of bullshit and if she pulls that on you,
then it's a deal breaker. You could try delivering the ultimatum, but if you do and she gives in, she'll end up resentful. On the other hand if she really does love you, and ever wanted kids, she might realize it's time.

Maybe she's just terrified of wrecking her body and becoming older. It happens with some women. Whatever the reason though, if she's shutting you out you need to confront her

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 12:25PM

Yes and Yes to both those questions.

You raised some really great points. Especially about how an ultimatum could go either way. It does seem like there is a little shutting out going on involving this.

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sejuno64

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26 Oct 2022 8:10AM

That leaves the only other logical reason for her to refuse is that she's afraid of getting pregnant. So your ultimatum is "You have one year to get help from a professional to overcome your fears. I told you I wanted a family, you agreed, and time is running out. If you haven't been lying to me all these years about wanting children, you will do this. I will be here to support you through this process, but if we are not pregnant one year from today, I am going to have to make a change."

But my gut feeling is she was going along with you, hoping that your desire to have kids would fade over time, because she never really wanted them. From my experience, for the most part, attractive women are selfish bitches who use sex and their looks to manipulate men into doing whatever the woman wants.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 1:03PM

She's stringing you along. Time to dump her. And FYI if you tell her you're divorcing her because of this she's probably going to come up with another scheme to string you along longer.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 1:09PM

Definitely feeling the stringing along.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 7:32PM

Maybe stop being such a simp, if you talked about starting a family before marriage just plain ask her what the problem is instead of doing all this jumping through hoops crap.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 2:05PM

Sounds like having a kid with her is bad news all around.

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Anonymous

25 Oct 2022 2:19PM

Exactly. He'll convince her to have one or two, then she hits the road with whatever stud she's banging on the side and he's stuck raising them alone. Fuck that. It's hard to find a chick who doesn't want kids, so he hit the jackpot in my book.

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Anonymous

04 Dec 2022 1:05PM

Definitely time to find someone else.

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