Need to get this out my head so I don't let it ruin me. One nigh after a family party I stayed late so that I can help clean up after everyone left. My cousin named A asked me if I was staying over longer so that we can drink some more. I told her I was going to and she was super excited. Cousin A myself and few other family members say around the table talking and drinking. As the night went on everyone was starting to get tired and heading out. Cousin A and I were the only ones left. So we sat down in the living room to talk. She opened up to me about her relationships and started getting into detail about being fucked on or guys sucking her tits. She cuddled up next to me and I started to rub her collar. Softly at first then slowly moving down. She kissed my neck and nodded. I reached further down and started to tease her a bit. She kissed my neck more. Since she was wearing a skirt it made it easy to grab her ass and squeeze. When I did she started squirming more. She then pulled her head up and mounted me as we started kissing. I grabbed her waist and kissed her more. My tongue mixing with hers. My hands around her waist pulling her close. She told me to get up so I did and she led me to the bathroom. There she turned off the lights and I felt her hands travel down my body and undo my pants. I felt her mouth on my cock and she showed me what she was talking about about. I then picked her up and went to remove her panties but they were already gone. I ate her out on the bathroom sink before flipping her around and ramming my cock into her. The soft moans and the "fuck me" voice drove me wild as I continued to pound her. I pulled out and picked her up and fucked her on top of the sink again her legs wrapped around my waist as we kissed. I came deep inside her as she moaned. We tried to get our clothes on but failed to do so and walked out of the bathroom. She gave me a kiss and told me let's continue on her room. So I happily followed her. We fucked for a while. Laughing and having a good time. We panicked though when her brother woke up for work and we could hear him outside the door walking around. After he left we kissed one last time before I left.
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I'm a loser. 45 yrs old. Never had a good job. Never been married. No kids. Last time I've had sex 1 time since I was 32 (39 was last time I had sex). I chat with gir ki s online & when they ask me for a pic, I might as well block them bc they're never gonna talk to me again after I send it unless it's a reply that says 'ew'. Same for a dick pic. Women who want to see dick pics don't wanna see anything less than 7 inches or they'll laugh at it. That's just the reality of the internet world. I have 1 online friend. I met her just yesterday so it's only a matter of time until she ghosts me too- also, I'm old enough to be her dad. She knows my age and what I look like. She had no sexual interest. She's just nice and likes chatting with me so far. I have no real life friends. Sure, ppl that I was friends with 20 years ago say they're my friend but they're not. They won't invite nw to do anything with them. They don't call or text. I used to try to call or text or make a plan to just hang out and it's a chore and I always get the vibe that nobody really wants to hang out or be a real friend. I own nothing of any real value. I own nothing of value. I own 2 cheap vehicles 12+ years old and that only bc I got them for free. I have no money saved and can't afford anything outside of the basics to survive. I have no reason to live at all yet I'm far too big of a pussy to ever end my own life. I'm short. I'm fat. I'm going bald. When i was a kid, every adult woman told me that with my blonde hair and blue eyes that I would have women crawling all over me when I grew up. That I'd have to fight them off there would be so many. Literally every adult woman would tell me this.... idk what happen between the time I was a kid and adulthood but those women couldn't have been more wrong. Idk what to do with myself. I'm chronically bored and the only thing to do is masturbate and as I get into my late 40s, that's not as easy of a task as it used to be. I dont always get hard instantly like I used too... and I can't do it 15+ times a week like I used too... maybe 5...
